literature

Head-Cases: Two Flies Are Too Fly (Fly Headswap)

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I heard the birds chirp outside a nearby window as I sat patiently in the waiting room of my local hypno-therapist. This wasn't any ordinary hypno-therapist though, but head-swap extraordinaire Dr. Head-Ape! This hypnotizing orangutan is one of the only characters that I trust! He's kind and polite, and will only transform or head-swap someone if they specifically ask for it. In a way, I kind of wish I was him! A talking orangutan with magical hypnotic head-swapping powers, what's not to like? Well, maybe the orangutan part isn't the best, but everything else sounded awesome!

As I sat waiting patiently, I heard my name called by the receptionist. I looked over at the receptionist to find that she had a gorilla's head in place of a human head! The woman looked normal otherwise. She wore a blue-colored business suit and had rather sizeable breasts. The gorilla-woman hybrid grunted and handed me a paper and pen, and motioned for me to sign it. The paper has less to do with my medical or mental history, and is more of a permission slip than anything else.

Head-Ape has a tendency to switch everyone's heads around and he often has people sign a permission form before doing so. I took the pen and started signing the document. As I did so, a house-fly entered the room and started buzzing about, annoying me greatly. It's tiny black body soared through the air, as it beat its wings at an extremely fast pace. This fly was really bugging me (pun intended) and was making me lose my concentration! Eventually, I did fill out the sheet. The gorilla-headed woman then motioned at me to enter Dr. Head-Ape's office.

I stood up abruptly and took brisk steps towards the ape's office. The house-fly buzzed after me as I entered the open door of the office. The fly darted right into the room as I was closing the door, managing to make it inside the office. This bug seemed keen on harassing me! However, I was going to ignore it for now, as I was now inside the orangutan's office. I looked at Dr. Head-Ape, who was siting on a rather large green sofa, one of the few things big enough to support his hefty weight.

The orangutan has reddish-orange fur and long arms, as well as having hands for feet. Dr. Head-Ape's body was large and fat, while at the same time possessing a surprising amount of agility. The ape's skin was a greyish shade of black and also possessed a rather rough texture. Dr. Head-Ape was clad in a black suit and white undershirt, as well as having a red tie draped around his neck.

"Greetings, James!" Exclaimed the orangutan as he scratched his clothed buttocks. While Dr. Head-Ape was a civilized orangutan, he still dealt with the instincts associated with his species. It doesn't matter how intellectually developed he is, he'll always be an animal on the outside. Despite this, I respected the ape greatly. "Hi, Doctor! I was wondering if we could try something different today?"

The ape squirmed about on the green sofa as he scratched his wrinkly chin. "Have a seat and we'll talk about it." I sat down on another green-colored chair that was seated right across from the doctor. As I lowered my rear onto the blue chair, I suddenly felt a strange energy run through it. I looked over at Dr. Head-Ape and saw that he was now sitting like a human. He was sitting straight up with his hands on his lap.

Inversely, I found myself engaging in some rather bizarre behaviors. My back was now hunched over for some reason, and I found myself uncontrollably scratching my butt. I let out an ape-like grunt, much to my surprise. "What's going on?!" I shouted, as I started to freak out. "Don't worry, James! It's just a little precaution, I had installed. This sofa is connected to that chair through a magic incantation, which causes my ape instincts to be transferred to whoever's in the chair and vice versa. Well, as long as the two of us are sitting in them, that is. I did this so that my patients would be less distracted."
"I still feel pretty distracted, ook ook." I said as I scratched my armpit. "Anyways, what would you like to become today, James?" I grinned as I made an ape-like grunt. "I'd like to become you, Dr. Head-Ape! If that's alri---" Just then, the housefly from earlier buzzed in front of my face once more. I angrily shooed it away, as Dr. Head-Ape looked at me with a curious expression on his face.

"Is the fly bothering you, James?" Asked Dr. Head-Ape, just as the fly started buzzing towards the ceiling. "It is! I can't stand bugs, especially flies." I stated, as I beat on my chest like an ape. "I see... Well, if you want to swap heads with me, you need to have an appreciation and respect for all beings. Be it the littlest insect to the largest mammal." I sighed. "I just can't appreciate such loathsome creatures, I'm sorry. Respect is something earned, and I don't think I'll ever have respect for flies."

Dr. Head-Ape then proceeded to scratch his hairy chin for a while. After a few minutes, he cracked a large smile across his flabby face. The orangutan appeared to have come up with some kind of idea. "Of course! I know how I can make you appreciate flies." Dr. Head-Ape then reached under his chair and pulled a glass jar, one that contained another fly in it. "I always keep some extra bugs on hand, just for such an occasion."

I stared in confused at the ape, as he gripped the top the lid with his big meaty paw. He proceeded to unscrew the top of the jar and open it up, releasing the tiny little fly contained inside out into the world. The second fly went up to the ceiling and started buzzing around with his brethren, making even more noise in the process! "Uh... Were you trying to help?" I asked, in a somewhat sarcastic tone.

"Now, James, there's no need to be rude. Allow me to show you why I did what I did..." The ape then reached into his pocket and pulled out his trust hypnotic spiral. It was a pendant with a silver chain attached to a small circle, that was shaped to resemble a spiral. "Now, just relax..." Said the ape, as he held up the spiral in front of me. The spiral began to span, causing my eyes to stare uncontrollably at it. My mouth opened and dollops of drool fell out, as I found myself falling deep into trance.

The thing about Dr. Head-Ape's hypnosis is that it's not actual hypnosis, but properly orchestrated acts of magic! Dr. Head-Ape put me under so he could attach my head to someone else's, could it be his own? Although, he said he wouldn't swap with me until I have respect for all creatures... Suddenly, Head-Ape snapped his fingers. Magic swirled around me as my head detached from my back and careened up towards the ceiling. My head started to shrink uncontrollably as I found myself being flung continually upwards.
My head then hit something, as I was able to feel my body once more. Only... It wasn't my body at all! The first thing I noticed was that I was completely naked! It appears that the body I was in didn't require clothes at all. I appeared to be standing on the ceiling, almost like my feet were suction cups that allowed me to latch onto it.

I appeared to be standing on all fours, though it felt more like six. I definitely had more than four limbs now! My six legs were tiny, skinny, and possessed a black colorization.  My legs were also bent back somewhat, giving my limbs a rather odd and angular shape. My legs were covered in strands of black stray hair. My feet were now featureless, and were more like stubs. They were now essentially feelers, making them practically useless compared to my hands!

Most of my body was colored charcoal black, almost as if I was covered in soot. My flesh felt soft, yet at the same time it also felt somewhat hard. My skin felt rather icky and had a rather rough texture to it. My torso was small and somewhat pudgy. My torso lacked a neck, with my human head being attached directly to the torso of this strange new form. Jutting out from my back was even more appendages, those these were much different. They were long and thin, while at the same time possessing a translucent color. I had a feeling of what I had become, but I needed to see it for myself!

I started walking across the ceiling on six legs, over to the mirror in the corner of the room. This was an arduous task, due to my immensely small size. I eventually made it over to the mirror and gazed at my reflection, only to discover that what I feared was true! I was a human head attached to a fly's body! "This can't be happening, bzzzzz!" I said in a squeaky voice, as I nervously rubbed my feelers together. I would say that this sight had made my stomach churn, but my stomach had already been churning this whole time! A fly's stomach is a very nasty place, after all. I was so nervous that I lost my grip on my ceiling. My fly legs lost their footing as I began to plummet to the ground.

Almost by instinct, I started flapping my wings. My delicate wings started beating together, as they moved up and down in order to keep me in the air. As soon as I started beating my wings together, I found my fall stopping completely. I floated in the air, while my fast moving wings produced an obnoxious buzzing sound. I proceeded to beat my wings ever faster, as I flew through the air at breakneck speed. My scrawny fly legs dangled from my sides, as I strangely started to enjoy myself.

"Having fun?" Asked a strange mysterious voice, one that was somehow squeakier than mine! I turned and spotted another fly, who was hovering in front of me. This was no normal fly, he appeared to have the head of Dr. Head-Ape. "Greetings, James. I see you're enjoying yourself." I grumbled as I buzzed about. "I am not! This is terrible, I'm so tiny and vulnerable! Now I know why they always fly away from humans. " Dr. Head-Ape smiled, but it wasn't a mocking smile. It was more of an understanding one. "Feels to me that you are starting to understand appreciate insects a bit more."

I turned my head upwards and let out a squeak little scoff as I continued to float in mid-air. "Me? Appreciate insects? Never! Now, where are our bodies? I want to get out of this nightmare!" Head-Ape motioned downwards with his tiny legs as I spotted both our bodies. They were just the way they left them with one key difference: They both had giant fly heads now! It was weird seeing my human body, wearing his normal human clothes, yet possessing a fly's head! Weird still is that neither of our original forms were moving at all, it was as if they frozen.

"Don't worry, James. Our bodies are simply in magical stasis so that the flies wearing them do not harm them by accident." I squeakily grumbled as I glared at the ape-headed fly. "I'm still worried! I hate being a fly!" Dr. Head-Ape chuckled. "I'll make you a deal, you look up at the light fixture and then tell me you're not enjoying yourself. If you do that, I'll switch us back right away." I nodded, "Pffft, that's easy!" I looked up at the glass lix fixture situation at the top of the room.

The fixture itself was glass and possessed a semi-cylindrical shape. From inside the fixture shone a powerful light, which immediately transfixed my gaze. My eyes grew extremely large as I found myself hypnotized by the majesty that was the light. "Bzzzz, so shiny!" I exclaimed while beating my wings even faster. I buzzed towards the light, like a cow being beamed up by a UFO. I eventually made it to the light and threw my body against the glass as I buzzed around the glass fixture. I was getting a bit excited by all this.
I gave my head a good shake and floated back towards Dr. Head-Ape, who was now perched on the top of a desk where he was rubbing his feelers together. 

Due to my much smaller size, the desk he was seated on looked more like a small country! A country made out of  balsa wood, mind you. I flew over to him and landed right next to the preening fly. I stretched my six legs about as the ape-headed fly stared at me. "So?" He asked as he looked me directly in the eyes. "Uh... Yeah, I kind of enjoyed that, I won't lie." Dr. Head-Ape grinned as he stared at me. "I had a feeling you would. You see, flies are disgusting and loathsome creatures to most, but few can really understand what it might be like for a creature so tiny. Of course, a fly thinks nothing of it, unless that fly is like the two of us right now. What I'm trying to say is that you've found an understanding with your insect form."

"Great, so can you swap us back now?" I asked, prompting Dr. Head-Ape to shake his head. "Not right away, I can't! We've been flies for five minutes tops, I need an hour for the spell to fully settle." I angrily walked back and forth on my skinny fly legs. "So wait, you were lying when you said you'd swap me back if I didn't enjoy myself?" Dr. Head-Ape sighed. "Sorry, it was a little misdirection, my boy. I knew you'd enjoy yourself, which is why I had that little bet. Regardless, the spell will subside on its own in exactly an hour."

"So... What will we do until then?" I asked as I looked at my fellow fly. "Well, there is a bowl of sugar-cubes over there in the corner. You'll find them far more palatable than eating out of the garbage, I can assure you." I snickered in my squeaky voice as I look at the ape. "Seems like you've had a lot of practice with being a fly." Dr. Head-Ape gave me a mischievous smile as he tilted his head tiny upwards slightly. "That obvious, huh? I used to swap heads with all manners of insects in order to get a hang of my magic powers. It was certainly good practice!"

"I guess you could say that you liked to BUG out a lot!" Dr. Head-Ape then remained quiet and didn't say anything, leading to an awkward silence that lasted over a minute. "That was a terrible joke, James. I respect you as a client, but that really was a mediocre and unfunny joke." I winked and said, "Well, that can't all be WINGers!" Dr. Head-Ape chuckled slightly at my pun. "Okay, that was slightly better. Now, let's grab some sugar cubes, I'm starving!" Exclaimed Dr. Head-Ape as he leapt off the table and started beating his wings.
Dr. Head-Ape sailed into the sky once more, as he motioned using his tiny legs for me to join him. I then proceeded to leap up and fly towards him, following behind him in a neat line as we made our way towards the bowl. As we flew, I recollected on today's events. While I still wasn't keen on being a fly any longer than I had to, I still had developed respect for the little critters. After all, everything has a role to play on the planet, no matter how miniscule or how large it may be.
It's been a while since I've been this proud of a story, to be honest. I decided to write something that isn't "weird for weirdness sake" and is just "casually weird with that mix of reality with surreality". Of course, I like all the works I've made recently, but I really love this one! In this story, Dr. Head-Ape (Who I seriously need to do more with) has me over to his office for an appointment. The hypno-therapist notices my aggitation with insects (flies in particular) and decides to give me a temporary look into the life of a fly! It was honestly good getting to revisit Head-Cases, which is something I haven't done in forever. Dr. Head-Ape is particularly fun to write, especially because he's more refined and well-mannered when compared to Jam. I love writing a crazy monkey, but I can't deny that writing a well-behaved and kind orangutan is equally fun to write. Plus, it gave me an excuse to do another fly head-swap and those are always good! And I managed to do one without referencing the fly, or even using elements from it! I consider that a small victory.

Dr. Head-Ape and Jam are the property of me
Insects are the property of nature
Inertia is a property of matter

Edit: Whoops! Forgot to put the April Turnover image on this! April Turnover is an event by :icononatart:, who also made the image and gave full permission for anyone to use. April Turnover is an event celebrating all da swaps!
© 2017 - 2024 Monkey-Scientist
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LWBiverse's avatar
Nice, looks like you're doing that "fly episode" from almost every cartoon in existance, still, this was a nice story.