Body-Swap Online (Surprise Body Swaps)

Oh man, I can't believe my new Oculus Omega Shift headset arrived! It's the newest version of Oculus Rift, putting you inside the game into a virtual reality of wonders. The one thing I mainly wanted to do with this headset is play Body-Swap Online. You see, Body-Swap Online is a hot new MMO only playable on the newest version of Oculus Rift. In this online game, you play as yourself. Your goal is to try to avoid making contact with any person, object, animal, or creature for one whole day. If you make contact with anything, you will switch bodies with it and will be trapped in that game character's body for one whole year of in-game time. This translates to about a month in the real-world. The only exception to this is if you make physical contact with other players, you receive no penalty at all for this. So, what happens to your body while your the virtual character? Well, that character's virtual consciousness is transferred to your actual mind and takes temporary control of your body in the real-world. It's completely safe, with many administrators monitoring making sure none of the virtual minds inhabits bodies for too long. On top of that, virtual minds are programmed to switch back automatically after one month's time.

The game is played a lot, not just because of the body-swaps but because of the prize! You see, if you win the game and survive a day without getting body-swapped, you a get a free game of your choice! You can choose from any consoles, TurboGrafX16, Playstation 2, CDI, Dreamcast, any game that your heart desires. I was so ready to play this game, even though I wasn't entirely sure who sent me the copy. The game was just on my machine when I booted up and the game said it was a gift from someone, but I had no clue who. Unfortunately, the game is super hard and few make it to the end of the day. It was my plan to change that and enter the winner's circle! After all, I'm a master of body-swapping knowledge so I should be able to dodge and escape any would-be body-thieves. I smiled as I slid the headset on over my shaggy brown hair and pressed the red button on the side of it. A booting-up sound played as I was suddenly thrust forward into the virtual world. I was then asked to choose a game. "Body-Swap Online." I said as I was thrust forward once more. Within moments, I found myself inside a cityscape. This must be the game! It looked so amazing, the graphics were high-end and ultra-realistic. As I wandered about, I noticed a couple of players hitting on two hot women who were out walking their pet poodles. "Come on, baby! Let's go out on a date." The two players seemed to be ignorant of the rules of the game. Either that, or nobody told them what game this was before they played it! The two women giggled in unison, it's obvious they had something up their sleeves. "Sure, you two pet our poodles and we'll take you out!" Said one of the women as the two men nodded in agreement. They reached down and petted the poodles and instantly fell onto the ground on all fours. The two poodles looked at each other in surprise, obviously confused by their new forms.

The women cackled like hyenas as they removed the collars and leashes from the poodle's neck. The two women then placed the collars and leashes around the necks of the two poodle-minded men who proceeded to pant with their tongues drooping out of their mouths. The women walked off with the "men" as the two "poodles" watched in astonishment. The dogs were confused as to what actually happened, but were more confused as to what the space between their legs felt so barren. Within moments, the new poodles realized that they had become female! The dog barked out of sheer terror and scampered off. Another player was walking around when a fly landed on his nose. He then started making buzzing noises and flapping his arms as the tiny fly buzzed around his head in confusion.

Truly, this was a bizarre body-swap world! I made my way carefully around the city, being extra careful not to bump into any living thing. I dodged and avoided anyone and everything and made extra careful not to touch anything. Anything I touched would make me lose the game and I so wanted to get the prize of a free videogame! I slowly wandered about the city, until I spotted a large horse charging towards me! This was random and out of left field, why was this even here?! I ran away from the random charging horse and noticed several NPC characters also running after me. The whole town was out to get me!

As I was chased by the ever-growing mob, I would notice the occasion straggler would split off from the group and chase after another use. I assumed I'd be able to run forever, but like in real-life my stamina had a set limit! I contuined to run as my energy started to drain. I decided to off the sidewalk and made a cut through the nearest patch of grass. I hopped a fence and ran through what appeared to be a dog park. Luckily for me, there were very few dogs in sight! I made my way through the park, but was stopped in my tracks by hoarse barking. I turned and found an American Pitbull approaching me from behind! I instinctively wanted to run, especially because I didn't want to end up in its body! My legs quivered as the dog approached. Before it could reach, my managed to collect myself and run away from it. The ugly dog chased after me, its tongue drooping out of its mouth as it did so.

I ran as fast as I could and eventually managed to evade the insane canine. I caught my breath as I took a minute to rest and regain my energy. After I had fully regained my energy, I prepared to leave my surroundings. Unfortunately for me, it wouldn't be that east! A large stampede of zoo animals appeared in the distance, presumably escaping from a nearby zoo. Worst of all, they were all charging towards me! I ran from the various crazed animals and made my escape downtown. Once I had escaped them, I took a look up at the sky. I noticed that the son was setting, I was close to inevitable victory! All I had to do was make sure that I didn't bump into anyone or anything and I'd be fine!

When I was walking through town, I suddenly stumbled across a bizarre area. It was an entire part of the city modelled after the medieval ages, complete with fantasy creatures! This game just kept getting weirder and weirder the more I played it. I noticed several mythical and fantasy-based creatures such as goblins, orcs, ghosts, werewolves, and even a dragon or two! It was really fascinating to say the least. As I looked about, I noticed something large approaching me in the distance. To my shock, I found a massive Cyclops stomping through the city towards me! He was large and very fat, possessing a pair of furry legs with hoofed feet, and had a singular stationed above his one eye. The Cyclops reached his three-fingered hand towards me as I attempted to make another dash for it. However, my body no longer had the stamina and I was only able to run a few feet before the Cyclops grabbed me. He grabbed my firmly in his, clasping me so tightly that I couldn't move. He held me up to eye-level, and then took his other hand and moved it towards me.

He started petting my hair with his index finger as I struggled in his grasp. I then noticed my mouth starting to open against my will as the Cyclops opened his big gaping maw as well. A strange blue mist emerged from my mouth as a red mist emerged from his maw. The blue must entered his mouth as the red mist entered mine. My vision became fuzzy as I appeared to go cross-eyed. I soon found that my eyes weren't crossing at all, they were now just one eye! My whole body felt strange, which was confirmed when I looked down.

My skin was a dull grey color and I found my body to be rather flabby! I had three fingers on each hand and my arms had a considerable amount of flab on them. My legs were covered in rough fur and my feat were congealed together and looked like a pair of giant hooves! My whole body was covered in an awful stench that made me want to vomit. Protruding from my forehead was a large horn and I found that I now only had three fingers on each hand. Worst of all, I smelled absolutely awful. I couldn't believe that  had switched bodies with a virtual Cyclops!

I looked down at the Cyclops in my body who was struggling in my grasp. To my shock, the Cyclops disappeared in a burst of blue light! That monster just logged out in my body, I didn't even want to know how he'd act in my body. Now I was stuck as a giant fat smelly Cyclops! I thought this was the worst thing ever, until I realized that was now a giant among mortals. My body was the size of multiple skyscrapers stacked on top of each other, I could totally wreck this entire online world!

I flexed my flabby yet very large arms and looked down at the world around me. I stomped foot in the middle of the park, causing a large quake of destruction to rip through. I'm glad this was a virtual world, or I would actually feel bad doing this! "Me like crushing city!" I said as I lost my grip on the English language. It seems that inheriting a cyclops' body also diminished my intelligence somewhat. Still, I was focused on laying chaos to the server, like a player-killer in Dot Hack! I started smashing buildings, causing various users to freak out and log off. Wow, the admins really need to work on nerfing giant monsters from the game.

I wrecked buildings, used them as back-scratchers, ate billboards, and generally caused mass destruction to the entire server. Users started calling it "worse than the Corrupted Blood Incident" and an "underlining reason this game shouldn't go Free 2 Play". I must have spent a week just chasing people off the server and causing chaos. And since I was stuck in an online virtual body while a virtual mind inhabited my own, I didn't need to take breaks! The developers really need to rebalance this whole game.

After thrashing the entire server I was on for an extended amount of time, I was approached by a large rooster. Like a cock on a walk, the anthropomorphic roosted pecked at my hooves. I tried to kick the rooster away, who proceeded to fly up to eye-level. The rooster bared his beak and growled at me. "Bad Cyclops, very bad Cyclops! You're breaking the rules of the game and have disrupting the server, stop now or be severely punished!" I grabbed the rooster in my large three-fingered hand and moved him towards my mouth. "Look, I'm an admin and the consumption of an admin no matter how delicious or mouth-watering is against the rules!" I shrugged my shoulders and shoved the rooster in my mouth.

As soon as I did, I suddenly felt odd. I lost consciousness and was greeted by what sounded like a rooster crowing. The sun peaked through this small enclosed area I was in. I stood up and noticed how odd my body felt. I felt extremely fat and my skin was covered in what appeared to be white feathers! My hands were these strange talon-like hands and my arms appeared to be wings. My feet appeared to be super skinny talons and I found that I possessed a rather large beak. I had turned into an anthropomorphic hen! Not only that, but I had an extremely large belly, befitting that of an egg-laying mammal. I found that I was in a hen-house, which seemed like a fitting place for me to be at the moment.

I started to walk towards the exit of the hen-house, waddling about in my fat body the whole time. I exited the hen-house and was greeted by sunlight, and a large flock of anthropomorphic hens gathered around the rooster from earlier. They were all swooning over the rooster as if they were all part of his entourage. "Why hello there, Gertrude! Didn't think you'd be up from the nest so early!" I crossed my feathery arms as the rooster trotted up to me. "I'm not Gertrude, admin rooster! I demand you change me back right now!" The rooster laughed, clucking while doing so. "Sorry, but you broke the rules. I mean, I wouldn't be a good admin if I let you disgrace the gift you were given." My eyes opened wide as I stared at the rooster. "Wait, how did you know about my gift?"

The rooster smirked and reached his talon around, giving me a firm pat on the back. "Looks like the cat's out of the bag! You see, I sent you this as a gift!" I scratched at the feathers on my head. "How? I just got this headset today! I assumed the game was just a random gift from a random stranger. The only person who would know about me getting the Oculus Omega Shift would be!" The rooster chuckled and clapped his talons together. Above his head appeared to the word "Jam". I looked at the rooster in astonishment. "What, but how?! Jam is my fictional monkey character modeled after my personality! You can't be me because I'm me." The rooster who claimed to be Jam wiggled his talon-finger at me, "Tsk tsk! Don't forget that there are other universes out there with different versions of us. Besides, I've been meaning to mess with my sometimes-human doppelganger for a while." The rooster threw his arm around me and smiled. "And what better way to do that by becoming an admin and subjecting you to some body-swap fun? We'll spend this virtual time together pecking for worms, doing the chicken-walk, and various other things farm-fowl do!" I brushed the arm of the rooster away. "Sorry, but no dice!" Jam smirked and motioned at the name floating above his head. "Don't forget that I can give you an even crueler punishment. Besides, I need a fifth hen in my fan-club of beautiful gorgeous chicks!"

I grumbled as the other hens shot me a death-glare. "Come on, don't be like that, you'll be my star hen! And maybe sometime we can meet up outside the game and I test some monkey science on you." I shuddered at the though as the monkey turned rooster flexed. The fat pudgy hens went wild as I gagged at just the sight of it. I tried to sneak away but the other hens grabbed me and pulled me back. "Where do you think you are going? I'm about to take you and the rest of the girls out for some fresh worms! Afterwards, we'll come back and watch those crummy episodes of The Real Ghostbusters centering around chickens and then..." The rooster continued babbling excitedly about the day's events. He truly was just like me in terms of personality, though a tad bit more zany. I was unfortunately stuck as a fat hen until the in-game time passes and I'm allowed back in my own body. For now, I had to deal with the craziness of a rooster with the brain of a mad-scientist monkey! This is by far the most insane online experience I've ever had.