Corporate Lunacy (Chimpanzee Statue TF)

Ugh... My head! It felt like my head was about explode, what happened? The last thing I remember was editing, writing, and posting a story and then... It all went black. I wiggled my head around and tried to move my arms. To my surprise, I was tied to a chair! I struggled and squirmed, attempting to escape my binds. Sadly, I could not break through my ropes like some kind of bad-ass superhero. Had I been kidnapped? Just then, I saw the door creek open and the lights turn on. To my surprise, I found that I was in some sort of boardroom! And standing before me were thee businessmen, who stared at me with disdain in their eyes. "Is this the guy?" Asked one of the businessmen. "Yep, he appears to be this Sirge character we've been hearing about."

I blinked confusingly at the three men standing above me. "Uh... What am I doing here?" I asked as the three businessmen redirected their attention to me. "You are here because of your recent lack of content. We are known as the Trans-formative Corporation, AKA Trans-Corp, and we are here to make sure every TF writer supplies their content regularly on a consisted basis. You have broken away from our global plan, and therefore must be punished." I struggled in an attempt to break free from the chair, but found it impossible. I was completely was their mercy, so I decided to bait them. "What global plan?" I asked as one of the businessmen grinned. "The global plan is for every TF writer to create a consistent amount of content on a month basis. You have dropped from 15-20 stories a month to just 5-10." I looked at them confused. "What are you talking about? I was busy with my own life! C'mon, cut me a break, guys!"

The men shook their heads in tandem. I was surprised by how alike these two seemed, it was almost as if they were clones! Did I somehow step into the matrix? "We cannot cut you a break, Mr. Star. We need to make sure you write, so you'll need a new form in the meantime." The two grabbed my chair and pulled me out of the boardroom and towards a doorway leading to another room. This room was much smaller and was practically empty. My chair was pushed into the middle of the room and the ropes were cut. Despite the ropes being cut, I still felt as though I was bound to the chair by some invisible force. "So, what are you going to turn me into for no writing? Please, if you're going to turn me into a chimp, then don't even bother!"

The two grinned as they towards the room exit. "We have no reason to go for the classics, Mr. Star. As fun it would be to have you as a chimp on a typewriter, cleaning up afterwards would be a pain. Instead, we shall try something entirely new. Please wait a moment." The two leave and walk out of the room. I sit there, unable to move for what seems like hours. Suddenly, I turn my head and notice something that wasn't there before: A chimpanzee statue made out of jade sitting atop a pedestal. How could I not notice such a gaudy thing beforehand? I suddenly find myself able to move once more as I quickly stop up from my chair. I wasn't about to let these businessmen have their way, I was out of here!

Before I could turn to leave however, I found my eyes were being drawn to the jade statue situated in the middle of the room. My gaze was transfixed by this bizarre object. The chimpanzee's right index finger was jammed in his jade nostril, as his sculpted hand looked like it was scratching at his butt. His legs were bent slightly and his sculpted face featured an dull expression plastered atop it. What an odd and weird-looking little statue. The longer I looked at the statue, the more I found myself wanting to be like it. Against my will I took my index finger and stuck in my nose. I took my left hand and started scratching my butt with it. It was as if this jade statue was controlling me somehow! My legs bent slightly as a dumb and goofy expression formed across my face. I found myself unable to budge, I was stuck like this!

That's when my body started to go through some changes, some very odd changes. I felt myself starting to shrink, my clothes becoming baggy in the process. I lost a few inches as the room and the statue situated in front of me became taller. My legs and arms shrank as well, my limbs became shorter as a result. My arms and legs were now somewhat stubby, and a lot of my body's muscle was now nonexistent. My pants became even baggier as my height continued to decrease. I stopped shrinking, but found that I was now about three-feet tall! I then felt a strange tingling sensation move through my face. My nose started to draw inwards and promptly melted into my face. In its place now sat two tiny little nostril slits. My feet started to ache, as cracking sounds erupted from them. The bones inside them shifted and connected, forming into a pair of massively different pair of appendages. My feet seemed flatter now and much less bulky.

I then felt something painful happen in-between my legs, as if something was getting pulled inside of me. It felt as though my very manhood had been removed! I couldn't be turning into a woman again, could I? I doubt it, if I was turning into a woman then why did my feet change so much? The changes continued as I felt the hair on my head change. It felt as though the texture was altering, my hair feeling much more shaggy and unkempt. It was almost as if it was animal fur. The change agitated my scalp greatly, making it itch immensely in the process. Wait, was this my scalp or was it fleas? The itching was so intense that I soon realized it was the latter! I had no way to scratch this insufferable itch, due to my inability to move.

The transformation continued as my ears grew slightly larger. As they grew, they also moved slightly. My ears bent to the side to the point where they were sticking out from the sides of my head. Was the transformation complete? Why couldn't I move? My question was soon answered when I felt something odd start to happen to my body. A strange green solid material started to cover my feet. As it did, the vessels and blood inside it froze solid and solidified into a hardened chunk. After changing my feet, the green material moved up my body. It blanketed my legs rendering them as solid chunks as well. It moved over my stomach, changing my organs and arteries into hardened material. I was still alive, despite the fact that I no longer had any organs!

The changes continued as the emerald-colored material moved my arms. My arms hardened as my muscles became solid. The material crawled my neck, solidifying it in solid green splendor. It then reached my head, covering my entire face and head in the strange material. My goofy expression was now frozen solid, encased by the material and unable to move. My vision was altered, it was if I was looking at the world through green-tinted lenses. This expression felt awkward and uncomfortable, yet I couldn't change the expression on my face no matter how hard I tried! My stubby legs felt like they were going to give out, but I found it impossible to adjust my standing position. What had happened to me? Suddenly, I felt someone grip me around my torso and pick me up. "What a nice little suitable replacement! Somewhat heavy though." The man heaved me up and placed me some sort of pedestal. He walked in front of me and bent over so I could see his face. Surprisingly enough, it was my own face! "Hey there, lil' monkey statue!" Wait, did he say monkey statue?! My walked over to the corner, far away from my peripheral vision. He came back with a mirror and held it in front of my face. I was greeted by the face of the jade chimpanzee statue from earlier!

My whole body was that of the statue, somehow I swapped bodies with it! My fingers were stuck in mid-scratch atop my butt-cheeks and my finger was stuffed awkwardly inside my nose. Even though these actions were uncomfortable, I couldn't move my body to get out of them! My body was small, made out of jade, and looked incredibly goofy to boot! My duplicate stood in front of me, laughing and poking my inanimate body while doing so. While my duplicate was laughing, I heard the back-door open behind me. The two identical businessmen from earlier stood in front of me while clapping in unison. "Perfect, the punishment has been issued. Sirge, you will spend the next month or so as this statute. Once the spirit of the statue who now inhabits your body completes 20 or so stories, you will be allowed  your human form once more. In the meantime, you two shall occupy each-other's bodies."

I struggled, but couldn't budge in the least. "Finally, I get some time away from that statue. Well, I guess it is only for the summer, but it's better than nothing!" The statue's spirit in my body walked off while playfully slapping my statuesque head in the process. "Alright, let's bring the statue to the main lobby and situate it in its new location." The two businessmen picked up my solid jade body and carried it off. I had no clue where they were bringing me, but I had a feeling I wouldn't like it! The two carried me up a flight of stairs and brought me to an empty room. My statue body was placed on a pedestal, situated inside the break-room! "Right where it belongs, in a place where people can laugh at it in-between sips of their coffee. I'd say you are on the payroll, but statues don't earn money!" The two clone businessmen laughed and walked off.

I was left there in the break-room, unable to move and stuck as a strange and awkward looking statue. As I stood there on my pedestal, I heard the sound of approaching footsteps. I wanted to turn my head, but any sort of movement was impossible! Strangely enough, the footsteps were very oddly place. It sounded as though two people were walking, but their was a strange sound to the tandem of movements. It was as if both sets of legs moved in conjunction with each other. The footsteps moved closer, until finally he appeared! To my surprise, standing before me was a character of my own creation: Dr. Head-Ape! The four-legged suit-wearing ape trotted into my line of sight, and turned towards me. "Oh, what a gaudy piece of word. And an ape no less? Truly, the simpletons that work here have little understanding of the great qualities associated with an ape." Oh no, was a character that I created about to smash me?

"I'll have to complain to the people who run this facility. I don't make hypnotherapy appointments at businesses just to be mocked!" He walked by me without laying a finger on me, I was rather surprised by this factoid. It was a good thing I designed the character to be an upstanding gentlemen! Still, I had no clue why my character had come to life. And showing up here of all places? Trans-Corp was certainly an interesting company, I wanted to learn more about this place but it was hard to glean info from the faculty staff-room! I was completely stuck like this, standing with my knees been in a silly pose looking like a fool for any worker to see and laugh at. I had the feeling that this Tran-Corp company was serious business. After a few hours of me sitting there encased in my temporary form, I heard the sound of people coming into the break-room.

Various cloned businessmen poured into the room as I simply sat there trapped in my jade prison. "Wow, look at that stupid statue! Geez, who bought that thing?" This was so embarrassing, I just glad that nobody knew it was me! One of the businessmen came up and looked me up and down. "Oh cool, there's a plaque here!" Wait, a plaque?! "Supplied by "SirgeTheStar". Ooh, looks like somebody got transformed!" Oh no, they knew it was me! Geez, I'll never live this down. The man patted me on my smooth jade head and grinned. "Looks like you found the only company that enjoys your monkey business!" That was such a terrible joke, and this was a terrible day. I don't know much about this Trans-Corp, but what I do know is that they crossed the line! Once I get out of this dumb statue, heads will roll...